February 2025 Blog: Infertility and the Unwanted Questions
You’ve been trying to plan your family; months go by, and people start talking. “Maybe they don’t want to have kids,” So are you trying yet?” When others ask about pregnancy, it may bring up a wave of feelings—sadness, anger, frustration, or loneliness. It’s important to acknowledge these emotions and recognize that your feelings are valid.
In that moment, how do you explain that you’ve been trying. How do you put into words the pain you’ve gone through and an uncertain future. Many times, those asking have no idea the struggle you’ve endured on your journey. So how do you respond?
Strategies for Responding
Dealing with questions about pregnancy can be challenging, and the right response will depend on your comfort level. Here are a few strategies you can consider:
1. **Keep It Simple**: If you’re not comfortable sharing details about your fertility struggles, it’s perfectly acceptable to say something like, “Not yet, but we’re hopeful!” This maintains a level of privacy while allowing you to acknowledge their question.
2. **Be Honest**: If you feel comfortable being open, you might choose to share a bit about your experience. For example, you could say, “Actually, we’ve been trying for a while now, and it’s been tough.” This can help, as it may foster greater understanding and empathy from those around you.
3. **Redirect the Conversation**: If you want to steer the conversation away from your pregnancy status, try redirecting with a new topic. You could respond with, “Thank you for your interest! But how have you been?” This shape-shifts the focus back to them, deflecting the attention away from your situation.
4. **Set Boundaries**: It’s essential to establish boundaries around what you are comfortable discussing. A gentle but firm approach can be helpful. For instance, you might say, “I appreciate your concern, but I’d prefer not to discuss that right now.” Knowing your limits can make these situations easier.
5. **Prepare for Different Reactions**: You may encounter a range of responses based on how much you choose to disclose. Some may express sympathy, while others might shift awkwardly as they navigate their own discomfort. It's okay to feel a mix of emotions in these encounters.
Finding Support
Even though the world seems indifferent to your struggles, remember that you’re not alone. Fruitful was founded on the basis that women supporting other women can help with the emotional weight of infertility. Whether you want to join our monthly calls or want more personal support though our Navigator program, we have you covered.